I am not very good about schedules, as you can see. I realize now that I can't say when I'll write a post. Honestly, I really wanted to write before this. The ideas were there -- but the love wasn't. I was hurt, angry, or apathetic. I have wrote some things, but it wasn't appropriate for sharing here.
Sometimes there are things I write that are just for me, myself, and God to see. If, by some weird turn in the world as we now know it, many years from now, my journals become historically significant -- then they'll become public. It won't be by my design. I'm not knocking publishing one's journals, but I don't see the significance in mine. Sometimes I wonder, though - as I'm reading through the book of Psalms ... as I think about the songwriters I've known - did David ever think that some of what he was writing was private, too? I feel a sense that maybe some of the songs David wrote were also just for he, himself, and God.
Songwriters and poets I've known or seen interviewed talk about how sometimes it is a particular raw, pure emotion driving a particular piece. The creatives I know (people from any form of this kind of communicative displays; writers, poets, musicians, artists) have said there is almost always a "folder" somewhere that contains their versions of this concept, too -- things made that were releasing and freeing, an unburdening of their hearts you might say. These sort of pieces are uncontrollably created and not intended for a public's consumption.
This is how I feel about my writing. My priorities are such that I want this place to be for my "polished jewelry" to be "on display," if you can see the visualization. The button I click when I am finished is labeled "publish" for a reason. With the world of technology the such it is, there aren't the culling {read sometimes crushing} procedures of the major publishing companies any more. Absolutely anyone can become a published author. What I keep "in the back" is what is either not finished yet (way too many of those kinds!) or is something I want kept private.
I strive for authenticity and transparency. But with that being said, no one should be transparent to the same degree all the time. Let's see if I can explain what I mean. There are subjects we will talk about with absolutely anyone - but to what level of details? I'll share about my children with my husband in greater detail than I would with my friends. And the person sitting in the stands next to me at a NHL hockey game will get even less detail. The world of technology has it's place in the list, too.
Our presence on social media sites and blogs should be honest representations of who we are and what we believe. The details about some things shouldn't be shared. There was the running joke in a commercial several years ago about a pair of parents who got involved with their children's social media site. The father who kept {over} sharing about every little thing he did - going to the kitchen, having dinner, going to the patio. That is what I'm talking about right now. It is a place that levels of transparency REALLY needs to be taught.
All of this, I guess, has been a giant "I'm Sorry" for not writing for so long. I don't want this to sound like I'm making excuses. I did want to give you the reason, though. As part of my "Word for the Year" project, I am going to actively seek out and express JOY this coming new year. I'll right more about it later. It's lunchtime and my sushi awaits!
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Connecting into Community
I don't do well with deadlines, even when I've personally set them. "I love deadlines. They make a beautiful woosh as they fly by!" I have been toying with ideas of what I want to write about. I thought about writing my reactions to what a visiting pastor shared at our service Sunday. He talked about how our potential for growth requires being connected into community. Then I was on the subject of priorities and how they are demonstrated. I had gotten so adamant about it that the only appropriate outlet I had was to write in my journal about it. I have also played with the idea of discussing transparency. For some reason I'd begun thinking I may be able to work the three together - community, priorities, and transparency. I'm not sure I want to do that, though. It would either be a shallow scrape across the top of three very important topics or it will be a very long entry. I will put the subjects of transparency and priorities as some other entries.
Pastor David Hertweck basically broke the topic of growth requiring community into two points but I'm going to focus on just his first one. His first point was about the things and beliefs that can have a way of breaking down someone's sense of community. In a community, people are known to each other.
Technology has created a false sense of connection together that honestly, just isn't enough for a person's emotional health. Social media is slowly replacing actual physical interaction between people. Facebook is estimated to have over a billion active users. If it were an actual country, it would be third in population - behind only India and China. People on social media only show what they want others to know about them. It becomes more and more difficult for good social interactive training. Social media doesn't encourage us to try to work things out. All a person has to do is 'unfriend' or 'unfollow' another person who is difficult to communicate with. The problem is "solved."
But physical closeness isn't connection either. A couple doing something together is not the same thing as two people participating in the same activity at the same time. Riding the same bus, at the same time, to the same stop didn't create the connection I had with a few people several years ago. We needed to be "built together" over time and through the conversations we had.
We need to connect with one another and work on keeping those connections. Connecting with someone else is risky. When we connect together, we begin to show our "less than" moments - thin spots in our emotional armor, vulnerabilities are exposed. Relationships can be messy. Interactions can become painful. We will find other people can prove to be rather inconvenient. Connecting with someone also means we learn about the weak spots the other person has, too. The good thing about making these links is that we become joyful when our friend has a triumph and we celebrate together. But also, we feel pain when our friends face a defeat. The connection joins us together in mourning.
I have been realizing over the last couple of weeks just how disconnected I have become. I'm not sure if it is my doing - a result of my pulling away - or if they have pulled back from me. That is an evaluation I will have to make. If they are responsible, I will give them what they wish and exit their lives. If I am responsible, I will work to fix it. Either way, though, I need to work building new connections. Others deserve the privilege of getting to know the real me!
Let's have tea together some time!
Pastor David Hertweck basically broke the topic of growth requiring community into two points but I'm going to focus on just his first one. His first point was about the things and beliefs that can have a way of breaking down someone's sense of community. In a community, people are known to each other.
Technology has created a false sense of connection together that honestly, just isn't enough for a person's emotional health. Social media is slowly replacing actual physical interaction between people. Facebook is estimated to have over a billion active users. If it were an actual country, it would be third in population - behind only India and China. People on social media only show what they want others to know about them. It becomes more and more difficult for good social interactive training. Social media doesn't encourage us to try to work things out. All a person has to do is 'unfriend' or 'unfollow' another person who is difficult to communicate with. The problem is "solved."
But physical closeness isn't connection either. A couple doing something together is not the same thing as two people participating in the same activity at the same time. Riding the same bus, at the same time, to the same stop didn't create the connection I had with a few people several years ago. We needed to be "built together" over time and through the conversations we had.
We need to connect with one another and work on keeping those connections. Connecting with someone else is risky. When we connect together, we begin to show our "less than" moments - thin spots in our emotional armor, vulnerabilities are exposed. Relationships can be messy. Interactions can become painful. We will find other people can prove to be rather inconvenient. Connecting with someone also means we learn about the weak spots the other person has, too. The good thing about making these links is that we become joyful when our friend has a triumph and we celebrate together. But also, we feel pain when our friends face a defeat. The connection joins us together in mourning.
I have been realizing over the last couple of weeks just how disconnected I have become. I'm not sure if it is my doing - a result of my pulling away - or if they have pulled back from me. That is an evaluation I will have to make. If they are responsible, I will give them what they wish and exit their lives. If I am responsible, I will work to fix it. Either way, though, I need to work building new connections. Others deserve the privilege of getting to know the real me!
Let's have tea together some time!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Exhortation? Really?
I am sorry that I haven't written since Sunday. I have been working -- contemplating about things and mulling them over -- and thinking about you. What should I write to you? What do I feel I NEED to tell you? Then I realized: just do what you said you were going to do.
So with that, I went and rated my responses to the questions in the survey we received. In all transparency, I did go online to our church website and completed it there - where it did all the organizing and math for me. I was surprised by my results. Like I said before, it focused in 16 different gift areas. I had a slight, opinion, about what my number one was going to be. And boy, was I wrong! My "opinion" came in at a five-way tie for THIRD! What I always thought was my greatest gift, teaching, was tied with other things for third. That meant I was really better at (or could be overcoming fear) two other things. Right now I'm focusing on what was my top fit -- exhortation.
Really? Exhortation, God? You do know that means TALKING to other people, right? But I was reminded that others hadn't been all that comfortable speaking before others, too. Also, "talking" to others didn't have to mean actually speaking. What?
Alright, so what DOES exhortation mean? According to Dictionary.com, it is a noun - yeah, knew that. Meaning 1 is the act or process of exhorting - yeah, no help. So, meaning 2 is an utterance, discourse, or address conveying urgent advice or recommendations - yeah, better but still. Further down the page, though, was the British dictionary's definition. Its second definition is a speech or written passage intended to persuade, inspire, or encourage. BINGO! Now that one makes sense! A written passage intended to persuade, inspire, or encourage I can do! And I noted the continuation of the theme: writing.
For about two years now, I have been using a personal vision statement; a life purpose. "My life purpose is empowerment - of myself and others." In light of that, really, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that my top gift was suggested to be exhortation. I had kind of known it already but didn't put a name to it. "How" is still a little shifting but I know it has to do with writing and this blog.
There were some suggested Bible references about the gift of exhortation. I liked the one Paul wrote in the letter to the Hebrews. It says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deed, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV) It's in a section where Paul is writing a comparison about the body of a human and the body of The Church. Like each part of the human body has a different purpose (liver, lung, hand, foot), the people who follow Jesus each have a different purpose, too. Some work together rather closely but each are still individual. The verses talk about lifting each other up to their own purpose through Jesus. I feel encouraged to press forward and step up. I am made to use my "voice" - in whatever form it takes - to encourage others and inspire where I can.
So with that, I went and rated my responses to the questions in the survey we received. In all transparency, I did go online to our church website and completed it there - where it did all the organizing and math for me. I was surprised by my results. Like I said before, it focused in 16 different gift areas. I had a slight, opinion, about what my number one was going to be. And boy, was I wrong! My "opinion" came in at a five-way tie for THIRD! What I always thought was my greatest gift, teaching, was tied with other things for third. That meant I was really better at (or could be overcoming fear) two other things. Right now I'm focusing on what was my top fit -- exhortation.
Really? Exhortation, God? You do know that means TALKING to other people, right? But I was reminded that others hadn't been all that comfortable speaking before others, too. Also, "talking" to others didn't have to mean actually speaking. What?
Alright, so what DOES exhortation mean? According to Dictionary.com, it is a noun - yeah, knew that. Meaning 1 is the act or process of exhorting - yeah, no help. So, meaning 2 is an utterance, discourse, or address conveying urgent advice or recommendations - yeah, better but still. Further down the page, though, was the British dictionary's definition. Its second definition is a speech or written passage intended to persuade, inspire, or encourage. BINGO! Now that one makes sense! A written passage intended to persuade, inspire, or encourage I can do! And I noted the continuation of the theme: writing.
For about two years now, I have been using a personal vision statement; a life purpose. "My life purpose is empowerment - of myself and others." In light of that, really, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that my top gift was suggested to be exhortation. I had kind of known it already but didn't put a name to it. "How" is still a little shifting but I know it has to do with writing and this blog.
There were some suggested Bible references about the gift of exhortation. I liked the one Paul wrote in the letter to the Hebrews. It says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deed, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV) It's in a section where Paul is writing a comparison about the body of a human and the body of The Church. Like each part of the human body has a different purpose (liver, lung, hand, foot), the people who follow Jesus each have a different purpose, too. Some work together rather closely but each are still individual. The verses talk about lifting each other up to their own purpose through Jesus. I feel encouraged to press forward and step up. I am made to use my "voice" - in whatever form it takes - to encourage others and inspire where I can.
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Today's Service Inspiration
Good afternoon. I'm back again with a few thoughts about the message our pastor gave this morning. Pastor Bob (well, that's what he goes by. His 'official' name is Robert.) started a series about unlocking our potential. Today's message was called "Finding Your Fit" and talked about spiritual gifts.
For a little background, spiritual gifts are God-given abilities. There are about 16 categories they'll fall into, but I'm not getting into what they all are right now. I'll have other blogs about my introspection into my ability or not to use each one.
I think that, following the path of my last post, I'm going to write today about a Bible verse from the selection he quoted. 1 Peter 4:10 in the New International Version (NIV) states: "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." This was written in a section of a letter to Christian groups in what now is Central Turkey. Peter was writing to encourage them in the way they were living for God.
This verse grabbed my attention because, like I said, it seems to be a Biblically-based confirmation of what has been seeping into my awareness this last week. It feels like I'm getting a little nudge in this. You know what I mean? You saw the type in those "Rocky"-types of movies -- the fighter is standing back into the corner of the ring. He's not sure if he wants to go out there for another round. But there's his trainer, and he's SURE the fighter can take out the other guy. The trainer's up behind the fighter, rubbing his shoulders, and giving the fighter a little pep talk. The trainer, of course, ends with a "now, go get 'em!" And the hands that were just massaging and supportive are now down on the fighter's shoulder blades and lovingly, but firmly shoving the fighter back into the center of the ring to fight. That's how it felt this morning as I was listening to Pastor Bob read it out loud.
I now realize how much I have been neglecting my gifts. My abilities have been gathering dust. I know a few of them and I've been given the perfect opportunity to discover more. It feels like this week has been "the pep talk" and today's verse is Jesus saying "now, go get 'em!" The difference between the fighter and me -- my Trainer is out here in the ring with me and together we'll get through anything.
Pastor Bob's message today gave me a lot of encouragement and some practical and applicable information about looking for, developing, and properly using my gifts. I have gotten some things to mull over. Ultimately though, I love getting presents from people and I appreciate them. How much more then that I love, appreciate, and share the gifts I have received from God!
For a little background, spiritual gifts are God-given abilities. There are about 16 categories they'll fall into, but I'm not getting into what they all are right now. I'll have other blogs about my introspection into my ability or not to use each one.
I think that, following the path of my last post, I'm going to write today about a Bible verse from the selection he quoted. 1 Peter 4:10 in the New International Version (NIV) states: "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." This was written in a section of a letter to Christian groups in what now is Central Turkey. Peter was writing to encourage them in the way they were living for God.
This verse grabbed my attention because, like I said, it seems to be a Biblically-based confirmation of what has been seeping into my awareness this last week. It feels like I'm getting a little nudge in this. You know what I mean? You saw the type in those "Rocky"-types of movies -- the fighter is standing back into the corner of the ring. He's not sure if he wants to go out there for another round. But there's his trainer, and he's SURE the fighter can take out the other guy. The trainer's up behind the fighter, rubbing his shoulders, and giving the fighter a little pep talk. The trainer, of course, ends with a "now, go get 'em!" And the hands that were just massaging and supportive are now down on the fighter's shoulder blades and lovingly, but firmly shoving the fighter back into the center of the ring to fight. That's how it felt this morning as I was listening to Pastor Bob read it out loud.
I now realize how much I have been neglecting my gifts. My abilities have been gathering dust. I know a few of them and I've been given the perfect opportunity to discover more. It feels like this week has been "the pep talk" and today's verse is Jesus saying "now, go get 'em!" The difference between the fighter and me -- my Trainer is out here in the ring with me and together we'll get through anything.
Pastor Bob's message today gave me a lot of encouragement and some practical and applicable information about looking for, developing, and properly using my gifts. I have gotten some things to mull over. Ultimately though, I love getting presents from people and I appreciate them. How much more then that I love, appreciate, and share the gifts I have received from God!
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Here's to New Beginnings
Hello, again. I am going to try this blogging thing again. I am leaving any expectations of having readers behind. I am not doing this for anyone else. I have been reminded two days ago what it is to be an artist. This reminder appeared on my Facebook newsfeed. This is what I saw and what I said regarding it.
I am sitting here to put action behind my words. During a small group discussion at a recent Bible Study, I was reminded that I AM a writer. I have a way with putting words together that is descriptive and can be quite elegant. Writing IS my outlet. I haven't quite worked out how this is going to blend with my journal quite yet, but I will figure it out. After all, I am creative!
It is Saturday. That means Doctor Who and The Last Kingdom on BBC America. I will post this and I will be back soon.
Karen
"Yes, it is a way of life and also very rarely a way to make a living. Even some of the most famous creators' (painters/writers/poets) work did not earn/cost a lot of money until after the creator passed.
A person HAS to want to do it for the creative outlet that it is - not for large amounts of fame or money because it is most likely not to come - and for the creation's ability to touch another soul."
I am sitting here to put action behind my words. During a small group discussion at a recent Bible Study, I was reminded that I AM a writer. I have a way with putting words together that is descriptive and can be quite elegant. Writing IS my outlet. I haven't quite worked out how this is going to blend with my journal quite yet, but I will figure it out. After all, I am creative!
It is Saturday. That means Doctor Who and The Last Kingdom on BBC America. I will post this and I will be back soon.
Karen
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Personal Perceptions
Proverbs 21:2 (NKJV) => Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, But the Lord weighs the heart.
This verse intends to remind me that if I use the human system of right and wrong, I will pretty much always be on the right side. I can always find someone who is worse than me -- "well, at least I'm not like Soandso!". Or I can always rationalize it away -- "I HAD TO lie. It would have been rude to tell her how that REALLY looked on her!". People usually see someone else's bad behavior (otherwise known as sin) as being "more bad" than their own. It is a sliding-scale so to say. God is consistent about what is wrong and what is right. The same things that were sinful 3000 years ago is still sinful now and will still be sinful 3000 years from now. He looks into our hearts to see our motivations and attitude. Something that appears to be right, like helping another person out, could be wrong when done for selfish, self-serving reasons, like for the publicity. I need to do a quick heart check before I do something. Is the reason I want to do this because it will help someone with a need or is it so I can get something out of it? I do not think it is completely bad to get something out of helping someone else ... I think it's even talked about somewhere in the Bible that there are win/win scenarios. I know that I feel better emotionally when I help someone else out with something.
Heavenly Father, thank You for being the consistent measure of what is right and wrong. Show me where I am not seeing that in my life. Show me ways that I can reach out and help others in a way that creates a win/win situation. Strengthen me to do what You have put onto my heart to accomplish. Amen.
This verse intends to remind me that if I use the human system of right and wrong, I will pretty much always be on the right side. I can always find someone who is worse than me -- "well, at least I'm not like Soandso!". Or I can always rationalize it away -- "I HAD TO lie. It would have been rude to tell her how that REALLY looked on her!". People usually see someone else's bad behavior (otherwise known as sin) as being "more bad" than their own. It is a sliding-scale so to say. God is consistent about what is wrong and what is right. The same things that were sinful 3000 years ago is still sinful now and will still be sinful 3000 years from now. He looks into our hearts to see our motivations and attitude. Something that appears to be right, like helping another person out, could be wrong when done for selfish, self-serving reasons, like for the publicity. I need to do a quick heart check before I do something. Is the reason I want to do this because it will help someone with a need or is it so I can get something out of it? I do not think it is completely bad to get something out of helping someone else ... I think it's even talked about somewhere in the Bible that there are win/win scenarios. I know that I feel better emotionally when I help someone else out with something.
Heavenly Father, thank You for being the consistent measure of what is right and wrong. Show me where I am not seeing that in my life. Show me ways that I can reach out and help others in a way that creates a win/win situation. Strengthen me to do what You have put onto my heart to accomplish. Amen.
Resurecting the Past ... Stepping Into Future
Hello again. I can not believe it has been a year and a half since I made a blog post. I'm sure most of my readers have forgotten about me, if I had any to begin with. This really isn't about anyone else, though, is it? The trend I had set out for with this blog was a lot more personal. I am going back to that premise. I am going to use this to record my personal Bible study (sometimes journal entry insights) and hopefully others will read it, be encouraged, and be led to comment so myself and others can also be encouraged.
This specific post is more about a reintroduction. I am not in the midst of a specific book of the Bible. I am using a list generated by the Logos Bible software. The list I chose was a list focusing on hope. I have been feeling without much hope lately. I am trying to focus on reading my Bible more consistently. I have been given all the advice I can tolerate about it. I know I need to do it every day. I know I should do it first thing in the morning before distractions and busyness can get into the way. But if I hear that stupid Nike slogan applied to my struggle to follow through and accomplish something, I think I just may SCREAM! Telling someone who battles with depression to "Just Do It" shows your lack of knowledge about depression, it shows your lack of attention to the personality of your so-called friend. I am realizing that I have just such an acquaintance in my prayer circle. I call her "acquaintance" rather than "friend" because of her insistence that if she can do it -- with 'it' being anything from praying and Bible reading daily to making it to work out at the gym regularly -- I certainly should be able to, also, since I am so much younger than she is. But I am digressing.
I want this to be about encouraging myself and others who struggle with Major Clinical Depression, suicidal tendencies, or Bi Polar I and the roller coaster ride that is life with these disorders. I will be using Christian / Bible references because that is where I have found the greatest support. Beyond the obvious support of fellow believers, I find that knowing there is encouragement and support written in the Bible show me that this is not something new, I am not alone, and Jesus is there with me no matter how far down I drop.
If you would like to, read my initial post introducing the blog to see the layout I use for writing out my Bible study entries. You can find it quickly by clicking the label "Introduction" below. The post is titled "31 Days in Proverbs."
This specific post is more about a reintroduction. I am not in the midst of a specific book of the Bible. I am using a list generated by the Logos Bible software. The list I chose was a list focusing on hope. I have been feeling without much hope lately. I am trying to focus on reading my Bible more consistently. I have been given all the advice I can tolerate about it. I know I need to do it every day. I know I should do it first thing in the morning before distractions and busyness can get into the way. But if I hear that stupid Nike slogan applied to my struggle to follow through and accomplish something, I think I just may SCREAM! Telling someone who battles with depression to "Just Do It" shows your lack of knowledge about depression, it shows your lack of attention to the personality of your so-called friend. I am realizing that I have just such an acquaintance in my prayer circle. I call her "acquaintance" rather than "friend" because of her insistence that if she can do it -- with 'it' being anything from praying and Bible reading daily to making it to work out at the gym regularly -- I certainly should be able to, also, since I am so much younger than she is. But I am digressing.
I want this to be about encouraging myself and others who struggle with Major Clinical Depression, suicidal tendencies, or Bi Polar I and the roller coaster ride that is life with these disorders. I will be using Christian / Bible references because that is where I have found the greatest support. Beyond the obvious support of fellow believers, I find that knowing there is encouragement and support written in the Bible show me that this is not something new, I am not alone, and Jesus is there with me no matter how far down I drop.
If you would like to, read my initial post introducing the blog to see the layout I use for writing out my Bible study entries. You can find it quickly by clicking the label "Introduction" below. The post is titled "31 Days in Proverbs."
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