It is the first day of the month and that's kind of like a mini-New Year's. The old month is in the past -- the big scribbled on page is gone and a new, clean page awaits. Soon it will begin filling up with the routine things that life brings. But before that happens too much, I take a little inventory of what I've learned in the past month and what ways I've applied the lesson to my life. I try to do that on the last day of the month but with life as it is, I usually end up looking back during the First.
I looked back on October today and realize I've had encounter after encounter about the subject of consistency. I don't mean like whether you like your ramen noodles as a soup or not. I mean doing something habitually. I want to commit to writing a post to this blog at least once a week. If I have something I want to share. If I have a clever thought others should think about, too. I'm coming here to share it.
Today my thoughts have been toward consistency and the places I have it and the places I don't. Unfortunately, it is easier to create the list of all the places I keep falling down. It's part of human nature I think. I am getting better about recognizing and celebrating those places. It usually is a first of the month small froyo from Wegmans ice cream freezer section cheering for the things I've done right the past month.
Then I try to get to the task of why I had the slips over the month. Am I over booked? Am I trying to accomplish the task at a bad time? Is this even something I want to do? I know the last one sounds childish but if I really don't want the task accomplished, it becomes easier to accept the other two. If I'm not committed to something changing, I won't see it as any priority in my calendar. If it is something I really do want to see accomplished but still have schedule issues, I have to examine the details of it. Through years of wrestling with it, I now realize there just are certain times of day I CANNOT sit down, close my eyes, and expect to accomplish much praying. I WILL fall asleep. I want to pray, but 5 am, 2 pm, nor 11 pm are the times for me to do it. I know several people that find praying at 5 in the morning works for them, just doesn't for me.
I will only tackle one slipping subject at a time. My therapist is fond of reminding me that I'm great at the planner stage; so great, I will forget to get to the do-er stage. If I only focus on one trouble task at a time, less I can get caught up in the analyzing and planning and focus more on the doing of the changes.
Our pastor has been talking about the Holy Spirit the past couple of weeks. That topic always circles around to the Spiritual gifts. I am again reminded that I was given the gift of exhortation. (You can see my October 29, 2015 post of my initial reaction to finding that out.) Everyone in my sphere of influence agrees that I need to write more often and more publicly. No deception. The thought of going out and making my writings public scares the crackers out of me! You will probably never see me speaking to a freshman class at a major university. I am a small group kind of person. I shared a previous post I wrote and it was suggested that it go onto the church's blog. When I asked our executive pastor how to find our church blog, he mentioned that it hadn't been in use for a few years, but asked about this blog. I had to say that I wasn't very consistent about writing for here. That was a little embarrassing. I think no one is reading and I get proven wrong again. So here I commit to writing here consistently.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Saturday, October 15, 2016
The Currents From Currents
On Thursday night, our church held a worship event that we call "Currents." The purpose of the event is to have a night that we get together for two hours (or more) to just worship at the feet of God and praise Him for all he has done and will do.
The next morning I was awoken for some personal time with Jesus. I wrote something and as I looked back over it, I knew I needed to share it with our worship leader, Ben. I photocopied the two sides of the sheet and wrote him a note of encouragement that told him I appreciated all the work he does for our worship time every week, not just at special events and that things like what I'm sharing happen frequently for me. Once he (finally - he's quite social) went into his office and read the note, he came to thank me and through a little conversation asked if he could share it to the church's blog if he posted it anonymously. Of course I said yes as I was already planning to share it here.
So with no further ado, what I wrote yesterday morning after a night of Currents worship:
6:20 am-ish -- I can no longer tell what time it is. I am sitting here in the bathroom waiting upon the Lord. I am an open vessel to be filled.
I'm just going to write what comes to my mind. We had a worship night at church last night. The guy Ben asked to speak was very insightful. I don't know how many others did, but I was really moved. The message was about what the gift of prophesy really was and what it definitely isn't. He concluded with four different ways prophetic word may sound. I think I've been used by God in at least one of them. We were encouraged to sit and listen for the voice of God. I didn't hear a different kind of voice per say. I just had the thought in my head - talking to me rather than the way I 'speak' outwardly. He took the speaker's explanation of how he was just trying to "connect the dots" and with that He proceeded to do just that. All the "little" things I've been learning are connected together to create a bigger picture of who He's created me to be. He has taken the baby steps with me. I see it now. He's been at that for a few years now. I get one bit of information and I got some time to think about it and process the way I fit into it. Then some other thing will come. Sometimes I'll see a connection - like some large and important piece is broken into dots that I see the line bringing them together. Most of the time I don't. Last night brought the "separate" dot clusters together. I still don't see the big picture but last night one last shackle was broken. One of the songs chosen to use last night had a line - "I will look back and see You are faithful" - that I thought was a bit odd using the word 'will' but now I see why they did. When I sang it last night, it was talking about right now. I now really see that He has been, is, and will always be faithful. I can trust Him because He's not let me down and He's not about to start now.
Yes, I sometimes write in my bathroom. It's the only place I get uninterrupted privacy! I am also reminded today that in order to make a 'Connect the Dots' picture, you have to put down what look like random dots before they're numbered. I now really believe I can go through the 'random' dropping of dots because He will be faithful and show the connection between them when He has completed that part of the great big picture in me.
The next morning I was awoken for some personal time with Jesus. I wrote something and as I looked back over it, I knew I needed to share it with our worship leader, Ben. I photocopied the two sides of the sheet and wrote him a note of encouragement that told him I appreciated all the work he does for our worship time every week, not just at special events and that things like what I'm sharing happen frequently for me. Once he (finally - he's quite social) went into his office and read the note, he came to thank me and through a little conversation asked if he could share it to the church's blog if he posted it anonymously. Of course I said yes as I was already planning to share it here.
So with no further ado, what I wrote yesterday morning after a night of Currents worship:
6:20 am-ish -- I can no longer tell what time it is. I am sitting here in the bathroom waiting upon the Lord. I am an open vessel to be filled.
I'm just going to write what comes to my mind. We had a worship night at church last night. The guy Ben asked to speak was very insightful. I don't know how many others did, but I was really moved. The message was about what the gift of prophesy really was and what it definitely isn't. He concluded with four different ways prophetic word may sound. I think I've been used by God in at least one of them. We were encouraged to sit and listen for the voice of God. I didn't hear a different kind of voice per say. I just had the thought in my head - talking to me rather than the way I 'speak' outwardly. He took the speaker's explanation of how he was just trying to "connect the dots" and with that He proceeded to do just that. All the "little" things I've been learning are connected together to create a bigger picture of who He's created me to be. He has taken the baby steps with me. I see it now. He's been at that for a few years now. I get one bit of information and I got some time to think about it and process the way I fit into it. Then some other thing will come. Sometimes I'll see a connection - like some large and important piece is broken into dots that I see the line bringing them together. Most of the time I don't. Last night brought the "separate" dot clusters together. I still don't see the big picture but last night one last shackle was broken. One of the songs chosen to use last night had a line - "I will look back and see You are faithful" - that I thought was a bit odd using the word 'will' but now I see why they did. When I sang it last night, it was talking about right now. I now really see that He has been, is, and will always be faithful. I can trust Him because He's not let me down and He's not about to start now.
Yes, I sometimes write in my bathroom. It's the only place I get uninterrupted privacy! I am also reminded today that in order to make a 'Connect the Dots' picture, you have to put down what look like random dots before they're numbered. I now really believe I can go through the 'random' dropping of dots because He will be faithful and show the connection between them when He has completed that part of the great big picture in me.
Friday, April 15, 2016
How Much Is "Too Much" These Days?
I just realized just how long it's been since I posted something up here. Today's not going to like my recent posts. In fact, the spark for today's post is not something I typically write much about anywhere -- sports.
I am what would be classified as a "passing" fan of most sports. In general, I'm a fan of the whole sport more than any specific team playing it. That is how I am with baseball -- I'm a fan of the New York Mets more by association because of my husband. So, when ESPN's "Outside the Lines" segment earlier today was talking about the front offices of Major League Baseball's off-season suggestion for teams to extend the protective netting out to the dugouts and the four teams who did, it caught my attention. Many changes in MLB trickle down into the lower player development leagues to basically get players used to playing in the situation. This is where I become a bigger baseball fan. I like our city's minor league team and will spend several nights over any given summer watching them play.
To those not familiar with the sport's situation, it may sound odd. What's the big deal about adding netting? Currently, teams have a mandatory mesh netting between the playing area and the fans' seats for an area behind home plate. The big wigs in MLB's offices have suggested to teams that they extend that current netting out to the beginning of each dugout. It is basically a request to make that protected area 70 feet longer each direction away from home plate.
The 'Add More Net' group point out the need for it because two years ago, a news group said there are over 1700 fans hit during games a year. The 'No New Net' group have said all along that netting keeps fans from getting the interactions they want with the players. It prevents fans from catching foul balls. It hinders viewing the game well. The thing is ... I see both sides' point.
I agree, 1700 people getting hurt at a game in a season is terrible news. Steps need to be taken to stop as many of those happening as possible. My discussion to have with them is about paying attention. Like I said, I've spent many evenings at our Field watching our MiLB team play and many more times watching the Mets on television. You can not believe the amount of times I've seen people (unfortunately, many women) more interested in what's going on with their phones or fully looking at each other talking -- here is one time I give it to the guys for their ability to hold whole conversations without ever making eye contact -- than anything happening on the field. The Mets coverage has even shown many each game. I don't mean to say anyone deserves to be hit and I don't victim-blame but there needs to be some level of responsibility for our own safety by actually watching the game you paid to see, some places that's alot. There are signs everywhere about being alert and paying attention for balls and bats possibly coming into the fans' area during play. This trend to off-set responsibility or try to bubble wrap people and everything around us has brought up an attitude of total indifference to observing anything going on around us. God has created a fabulously beautiful world around us. You just have to look at something outside your self.
That isn't to say I am with the 'No Net' group. I think their objection based on player availability is ridiculous. One of my objections to many top-tier sports players is that 'gotta get paid' attitude. I don't have the money to attend MLB games -- I've only been to two, in fact -- but the guys in the minors don't seem to be hanging around where fans can ask them for autographs, netting or not. They're down in the clubhouse doing their thing. Fans typically have to wait for an autograph session -- at a booth in the concourse area -- to get one. The idea that the netting is hindering fans' viewing the game is also silly. There is this fancy little thing that our brain and eyes can do - it's called something like using multi-focal points. Basically, when we want to look at the keyboard in front of us, our brain has our eyes focus on that and things outside the frame of our laptops is fairly out of focus and ignored. When we want to see something 200 or 300 yards away, the things up close become fairly invisible and ignored. This to say, if you want to see the netting, you'll see the netting, but if you're focus is out on the playing field, the netting practically disappears. I know because hockey -- which I am a huge fan of -- put up that netting at the ends of the rink several years ago as a safety precaution and I have the net-disappearing-thing happen. When I focus on the game, the strings of the netting disappear. And I imagine some sports-fan pastor should be able to parallel a sermon out of the idea! I hate to suggest the heart of this complaint is that cameras and camcorders aren't as amazing as our brain and eyes. They get caught up trying to decide on which to focus on, the netting or the player standing 100 feet past it.
My 'No New Net' agreement is with the catching of foul balls. Some of the netting supporters are going to the point of demanding that netting needs to go along the edge of the playing field from foul pole to foul pole. This is the end-game realization some opposed to netting are coming from. While I agree there needs to be the opportunity to get a foul ball at a game -- seriously, how cool would that be? -- there also needs to be recognition of how that has become more dangerous. The players these days are getting bigger and stronger. That translates to hitting harder and that into balls moving faster. That speed is great when it headed for that orange line 370 feet from home plate. It makes for a very quick trip to the fans sitting behind the dugout, though. The reaction time necessary when fully paying attention to the game - note back to my statement earlier about how some aren't - are phenomenal. My source of concern personally is in the increasing amount of bats being broken by these increasingly stronger batters. Pieces of bat, usually that larger barrel end, flying into the seats isn't cool. That really is probably a discussion mechanical engineering trained baseball fans need to have about the wood used in bats or other similar design conversations.
I don't think there really is a right or wrong answer for this topic. I was just interested is what others think about it. I would really love your opinions in the comments below.
I am what would be classified as a "passing" fan of most sports. In general, I'm a fan of the whole sport more than any specific team playing it. That is how I am with baseball -- I'm a fan of the New York Mets more by association because of my husband. So, when ESPN's "Outside the Lines" segment earlier today was talking about the front offices of Major League Baseball's off-season suggestion for teams to extend the protective netting out to the dugouts and the four teams who did, it caught my attention. Many changes in MLB trickle down into the lower player development leagues to basically get players used to playing in the situation. This is where I become a bigger baseball fan. I like our city's minor league team and will spend several nights over any given summer watching them play.
To those not familiar with the sport's situation, it may sound odd. What's the big deal about adding netting? Currently, teams have a mandatory mesh netting between the playing area and the fans' seats for an area behind home plate. The big wigs in MLB's offices have suggested to teams that they extend that current netting out to the beginning of each dugout. It is basically a request to make that protected area 70 feet longer each direction away from home plate.
The 'Add More Net' group point out the need for it because two years ago, a news group said there are over 1700 fans hit during games a year. The 'No New Net' group have said all along that netting keeps fans from getting the interactions they want with the players. It prevents fans from catching foul balls. It hinders viewing the game well. The thing is ... I see both sides' point.
I agree, 1700 people getting hurt at a game in a season is terrible news. Steps need to be taken to stop as many of those happening as possible. My discussion to have with them is about paying attention. Like I said, I've spent many evenings at our Field watching our MiLB team play and many more times watching the Mets on television. You can not believe the amount of times I've seen people (unfortunately, many women) more interested in what's going on with their phones or fully looking at each other talking -- here is one time I give it to the guys for their ability to hold whole conversations without ever making eye contact -- than anything happening on the field. The Mets coverage has even shown many each game. I don't mean to say anyone deserves to be hit and I don't victim-blame but there needs to be some level of responsibility for our own safety by actually watching the game you paid to see, some places that's alot. There are signs everywhere about being alert and paying attention for balls and bats possibly coming into the fans' area during play. This trend to off-set responsibility or try to bubble wrap people and everything around us has brought up an attitude of total indifference to observing anything going on around us. God has created a fabulously beautiful world around us. You just have to look at something outside your self.
That isn't to say I am with the 'No Net' group. I think their objection based on player availability is ridiculous. One of my objections to many top-tier sports players is that 'gotta get paid' attitude. I don't have the money to attend MLB games -- I've only been to two, in fact -- but the guys in the minors don't seem to be hanging around where fans can ask them for autographs, netting or not. They're down in the clubhouse doing their thing. Fans typically have to wait for an autograph session -- at a booth in the concourse area -- to get one. The idea that the netting is hindering fans' viewing the game is also silly. There is this fancy little thing that our brain and eyes can do - it's called something like using multi-focal points. Basically, when we want to look at the keyboard in front of us, our brain has our eyes focus on that and things outside the frame of our laptops is fairly out of focus and ignored. When we want to see something 200 or 300 yards away, the things up close become fairly invisible and ignored. This to say, if you want to see the netting, you'll see the netting, but if you're focus is out on the playing field, the netting practically disappears. I know because hockey -- which I am a huge fan of -- put up that netting at the ends of the rink several years ago as a safety precaution and I have the net-disappearing-thing happen. When I focus on the game, the strings of the netting disappear. And I imagine some sports-fan pastor should be able to parallel a sermon out of the idea! I hate to suggest the heart of this complaint is that cameras and camcorders aren't as amazing as our brain and eyes. They get caught up trying to decide on which to focus on, the netting or the player standing 100 feet past it.
My 'No New Net' agreement is with the catching of foul balls. Some of the netting supporters are going to the point of demanding that netting needs to go along the edge of the playing field from foul pole to foul pole. This is the end-game realization some opposed to netting are coming from. While I agree there needs to be the opportunity to get a foul ball at a game -- seriously, how cool would that be? -- there also needs to be recognition of how that has become more dangerous. The players these days are getting bigger and stronger. That translates to hitting harder and that into balls moving faster. That speed is great when it headed for that orange line 370 feet from home plate. It makes for a very quick trip to the fans sitting behind the dugout, though. The reaction time necessary when fully paying attention to the game - note back to my statement earlier about how some aren't - are phenomenal. My source of concern personally is in the increasing amount of bats being broken by these increasingly stronger batters. Pieces of bat, usually that larger barrel end, flying into the seats isn't cool. That really is probably a discussion mechanical engineering trained baseball fans need to have about the wood used in bats or other similar design conversations.
I don't think there really is a right or wrong answer for this topic. I was just interested is what others think about it. I would really love your opinions in the comments below.
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Before or After
For the past three Sundays now, our pastor has been unpacking some verses in Matthew. For those not familiar with what has become called "The Lord's Prayer," it is found in a section where Jesus is teaching about praying. The earlier part of the chapter talks about prayers. Jesus says that we aren't to be calling undo attention to ourselves when we pray. He then lays out how we are to pray.
“This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." (Matthew 6:9–13, NIV)
The part Pastor discussed today was the last sentence. It has been the basis for jokes for as long as I can remember. I realize, with Pastor's help, that any temptation falls onto one of those 4-way graph things.
One of the arrow bars, say the back and forth one, is for the inside-self / outside-self continuum. Temptations aren't just those 'he made me do it' cop outs we tried to use when squirming out of trouble and blaming it on someone else. There are also those temptations that we bring onto ourselves. No matter how much I claim it has, that candy bar did NOT call out to me and make me eat it.
The up and down arrow bar fits perfectly to represent the fact that temptations come not only from our natural world, but also have roots in the spiritual realm. There are just some things that need prayer to help us stop doing. My thoughts go quickly to my depression. Like I have said many times before ... trust me if I could 'just suck it up and go on' I would! I have also heard shaking drug addictions are like that, too. Pastor listed off 9 strategies the evil one uses to destroy us and cause us to fail. And he said he stopped at 9 because of space! I do agree that there are no new sins - just new ways to do them.
I also want to counter one belief some people hold. God does not set up temptations before us to get us to fail. He doesn't reveal our sins to us because He wants us to feel shame or guilt. Our sins are revealed to bring us closer to Him. One of the takeaways today is that if we spend more of our time praying to avoid temptations, we may be able to spend less time praying for forgiveness for doing them.
Thank you, my friend for spending some of your time here with me. Have a good day and remember to choose JOY!
Happy Kid Inventors Day!
Saturday, January 16, 2016
So, What Have You Been Up To?
My regularly scheduled social life has officially returned from the holiday break. Last night our home-based, small group, Bible study group started getting together again. This morning, I got together with other ladies from our church to knit and crochet prayer shawls. One question that gets asked a lot in these situations (mine no different) and during holiday parties, too, is "What have you been up to?" That question has often been troublesome for me in some situations. Admittedly, those situations are often holiday parties with people who only have a passing acquaintance with me. The question brings up evaluations of transparency. How well do I know the asker? Do they seem truly interested in what interests me or are they making superficial small talk?
Like I said about visibility back on December 26th, I want to be as transparent and authentic as I can. Some situations, regrettably, almost require that I am not. Despite all the work to counter it, there still is a big stigma about mental illness and the people who suffer from it. Unfortunately, some do not understand that the human brain is just like any other organ and can suffer chemical imbalances or deterioration. Just because there is no cast or brace on my body, it doesn't mean I don't also have to deal with big struggles to get to some place. I won't get into it now, though. I have kind of wandered off the trail a little. If you'd like to read more about it, you are welcome to go through my back postings with the links to the right side there.
The people asking me about my activities these past holidays are the ones that are truly interested in what I have been doing and aren't completely unaware of what it sometimes takes for me to make it out to do things. This is particularly true of my Friday night LifeGroup gathering. For two years now, these people have prayed for and with me. I have talked about some of the struggles I have with my Bipolar I and particularly the Major Clinical Depression associated with it. Like I said, some places I should have felt safe enough to talk about my depression have been closed off with prejudices and total disinterest in understanding.
I have been all over the place yet no place so I am going to cut the chaos and head to bed. Today has been International Hot and Spicy Food Day! See you tomorrow! Maybe then I can make sense!
Like I said about visibility back on December 26th, I want to be as transparent and authentic as I can. Some situations, regrettably, almost require that I am not. Despite all the work to counter it, there still is a big stigma about mental illness and the people who suffer from it. Unfortunately, some do not understand that the human brain is just like any other organ and can suffer chemical imbalances or deterioration. Just because there is no cast or brace on my body, it doesn't mean I don't also have to deal with big struggles to get to some place. I won't get into it now, though. I have kind of wandered off the trail a little. If you'd like to read more about it, you are welcome to go through my back postings with the links to the right side there.
The people asking me about my activities these past holidays are the ones that are truly interested in what I have been doing and aren't completely unaware of what it sometimes takes for me to make it out to do things. This is particularly true of my Friday night LifeGroup gathering. For two years now, these people have prayed for and with me. I have talked about some of the struggles I have with my Bipolar I and particularly the Major Clinical Depression associated with it. Like I said, some places I should have felt safe enough to talk about my depression have been closed off with prejudices and total disinterest in understanding.
I have been all over the place yet no place so I am going to cut the chaos and head to bed. Today has been International Hot and Spicy Food Day! See you tomorrow! Maybe then I can make sense!
Friday, January 15, 2016
Happy Obscure Holidays!
I have been very bad about writing here lately. I was noticing that the last blog post I did was back at Christmas. I'm sorry. I have hopefully found an inspiration to post every day. At the end of that post at Christmas I was saying that I have a "Word of the Year" project to actively seek out and express joy this year.
The search engine Google does something for some little-known anniversaries and birthdays of historic proportions. They will redesign their site logo for the day in honor of it. So, a week ago I decided one way I could actively seek and express joy was to find something fun to celebrate every day myself. I came across a website that lists some of the lesser known holidays some people celebrate. I knew of some already. My son (who is left-handed) was born on International Left-Handers Day. Star Wars fans have Star Wars Day on May 4th -- a spoof on one of the movie's most famous lines. August has National Black Cat Day. It turns out this site has something to celebrate every day. In fact, most days have several to choose from! I rolled out this onto my Facebook timeline the next day, on January 8th. The timing was perfect in fact. January 8th is, among a few other things, Joy Germ Day. To celebrate, I used my Office skills and created my first meme. Also on the 8th is Bubble Bath Day.
I posted my meme and changed my profile picture to some bubble bath bubbles. I have only missed one day this week. I figure if I'm doing ok about doing these holidays on Facebook, I can write a post for my blog every day, too.
The two obscure holidays I chose for today are Strawberry Ice Cream Day and Hat Day. I posted a ten year old picture of me in one of my baseball hats and changed my profile picture to a bowl of strawberry ice cream. To celebrate in the real world, I am wearing another of my (many) ball caps. I have a small group study gathering tonight and I was thinking of getting some individual-serving strawberry ice cream bowls to take with us if they make them. I'll share the joy by explaining to them what I'm doing and why I thought to bring ice cream to a group meeting in the middle of January in Western New York! Granted the weather for my little spot in it isn't bad (yet), but ice cream really isn't on most of our minds right now.
I will end this for today. I look forward to sharing insights from tonight's group and another holiday to celebrate tomorrow. See you then!
The search engine Google does something for some little-known anniversaries and birthdays of historic proportions. They will redesign their site logo for the day in honor of it. So, a week ago I decided one way I could actively seek and express joy was to find something fun to celebrate every day myself. I came across a website that lists some of the lesser known holidays some people celebrate. I knew of some already. My son (who is left-handed) was born on International Left-Handers Day. Star Wars fans have Star Wars Day on May 4th -- a spoof on one of the movie's most famous lines. August has National Black Cat Day. It turns out this site has something to celebrate every day. In fact, most days have several to choose from! I rolled out this onto my Facebook timeline the next day, on January 8th. The timing was perfect in fact. January 8th is, among a few other things, Joy Germ Day. To celebrate, I used my Office skills and created my first meme. Also on the 8th is Bubble Bath Day.
I posted my meme and changed my profile picture to some bubble bath bubbles. I have only missed one day this week. I figure if I'm doing ok about doing these holidays on Facebook, I can write a post for my blog every day, too.
The two obscure holidays I chose for today are Strawberry Ice Cream Day and Hat Day. I posted a ten year old picture of me in one of my baseball hats and changed my profile picture to a bowl of strawberry ice cream. To celebrate in the real world, I am wearing another of my (many) ball caps. I have a small group study gathering tonight and I was thinking of getting some individual-serving strawberry ice cream bowls to take with us if they make them. I'll share the joy by explaining to them what I'm doing and why I thought to bring ice cream to a group meeting in the middle of January in Western New York! Granted the weather for my little spot in it isn't bad (yet), but ice cream really isn't on most of our minds right now.
I will end this for today. I look forward to sharing insights from tonight's group and another holiday to celebrate tomorrow. See you then!
Saturday, December 26, 2015
What is My Visibility?
I am not very good about schedules, as you can see. I realize now that I can't say when I'll write a post. Honestly, I really wanted to write before this. The ideas were there -- but the love wasn't. I was hurt, angry, or apathetic. I have wrote some things, but it wasn't appropriate for sharing here.
Sometimes there are things I write that are just for me, myself, and God to see. If, by some weird turn in the world as we now know it, many years from now, my journals become historically significant -- then they'll become public. It won't be by my design. I'm not knocking publishing one's journals, but I don't see the significance in mine. Sometimes I wonder, though - as I'm reading through the book of Psalms ... as I think about the songwriters I've known - did David ever think that some of what he was writing was private, too? I feel a sense that maybe some of the songs David wrote were also just for he, himself, and God.
Songwriters and poets I've known or seen interviewed talk about how sometimes it is a particular raw, pure emotion driving a particular piece. The creatives I know (people from any form of this kind of communicative displays; writers, poets, musicians, artists) have said there is almost always a "folder" somewhere that contains their versions of this concept, too -- things made that were releasing and freeing, an unburdening of their hearts you might say. These sort of pieces are uncontrollably created and not intended for a public's consumption.
This is how I feel about my writing. My priorities are such that I want this place to be for my "polished jewelry" to be "on display," if you can see the visualization. The button I click when I am finished is labeled "publish" for a reason. With the world of technology the such it is, there aren't the culling {read sometimes crushing} procedures of the major publishing companies any more. Absolutely anyone can become a published author. What I keep "in the back" is what is either not finished yet (way too many of those kinds!) or is something I want kept private.
I strive for authenticity and transparency. But with that being said, no one should be transparent to the same degree all the time. Let's see if I can explain what I mean. There are subjects we will talk about with absolutely anyone - but to what level of details? I'll share about my children with my husband in greater detail than I would with my friends. And the person sitting in the stands next to me at a NHL hockey game will get even less detail. The world of technology has it's place in the list, too.
Our presence on social media sites and blogs should be honest representations of who we are and what we believe. The details about some things shouldn't be shared. There was the running joke in a commercial several years ago about a pair of parents who got involved with their children's social media site. The father who kept {over} sharing about every little thing he did - going to the kitchen, having dinner, going to the patio. That is what I'm talking about right now. It is a place that levels of transparency REALLY needs to be taught.
All of this, I guess, has been a giant "I'm Sorry" for not writing for so long. I don't want this to sound like I'm making excuses. I did want to give you the reason, though. As part of my "Word for the Year" project, I am going to actively seek out and express JOY this coming new year. I'll right more about it later. It's lunchtime and my sushi awaits!
Sometimes there are things I write that are just for me, myself, and God to see. If, by some weird turn in the world as we now know it, many years from now, my journals become historically significant -- then they'll become public. It won't be by my design. I'm not knocking publishing one's journals, but I don't see the significance in mine. Sometimes I wonder, though - as I'm reading through the book of Psalms ... as I think about the songwriters I've known - did David ever think that some of what he was writing was private, too? I feel a sense that maybe some of the songs David wrote were also just for he, himself, and God.
Songwriters and poets I've known or seen interviewed talk about how sometimes it is a particular raw, pure emotion driving a particular piece. The creatives I know (people from any form of this kind of communicative displays; writers, poets, musicians, artists) have said there is almost always a "folder" somewhere that contains their versions of this concept, too -- things made that were releasing and freeing, an unburdening of their hearts you might say. These sort of pieces are uncontrollably created and not intended for a public's consumption.
This is how I feel about my writing. My priorities are such that I want this place to be for my "polished jewelry" to be "on display," if you can see the visualization. The button I click when I am finished is labeled "publish" for a reason. With the world of technology the such it is, there aren't the culling {read sometimes crushing} procedures of the major publishing companies any more. Absolutely anyone can become a published author. What I keep "in the back" is what is either not finished yet (way too many of those kinds!) or is something I want kept private.
I strive for authenticity and transparency. But with that being said, no one should be transparent to the same degree all the time. Let's see if I can explain what I mean. There are subjects we will talk about with absolutely anyone - but to what level of details? I'll share about my children with my husband in greater detail than I would with my friends. And the person sitting in the stands next to me at a NHL hockey game will get even less detail. The world of technology has it's place in the list, too.
Our presence on social media sites and blogs should be honest representations of who we are and what we believe. The details about some things shouldn't be shared. There was the running joke in a commercial several years ago about a pair of parents who got involved with their children's social media site. The father who kept {over} sharing about every little thing he did - going to the kitchen, having dinner, going to the patio. That is what I'm talking about right now. It is a place that levels of transparency REALLY needs to be taught.
All of this, I guess, has been a giant "I'm Sorry" for not writing for so long. I don't want this to sound like I'm making excuses. I did want to give you the reason, though. As part of my "Word for the Year" project, I am going to actively seek out and express JOY this coming new year. I'll right more about it later. It's lunchtime and my sushi awaits!
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Connecting into Community
I don't do well with deadlines, even when I've personally set them. "I love deadlines. They make a beautiful woosh as they fly by!" I have been toying with ideas of what I want to write about. I thought about writing my reactions to what a visiting pastor shared at our service Sunday. He talked about how our potential for growth requires being connected into community. Then I was on the subject of priorities and how they are demonstrated. I had gotten so adamant about it that the only appropriate outlet I had was to write in my journal about it. I have also played with the idea of discussing transparency. For some reason I'd begun thinking I may be able to work the three together - community, priorities, and transparency. I'm not sure I want to do that, though. It would either be a shallow scrape across the top of three very important topics or it will be a very long entry. I will put the subjects of transparency and priorities as some other entries.
Pastor David Hertweck basically broke the topic of growth requiring community into two points but I'm going to focus on just his first one. His first point was about the things and beliefs that can have a way of breaking down someone's sense of community. In a community, people are known to each other.
Technology has created a false sense of connection together that honestly, just isn't enough for a person's emotional health. Social media is slowly replacing actual physical interaction between people. Facebook is estimated to have over a billion active users. If it were an actual country, it would be third in population - behind only India and China. People on social media only show what they want others to know about them. It becomes more and more difficult for good social interactive training. Social media doesn't encourage us to try to work things out. All a person has to do is 'unfriend' or 'unfollow' another person who is difficult to communicate with. The problem is "solved."
But physical closeness isn't connection either. A couple doing something together is not the same thing as two people participating in the same activity at the same time. Riding the same bus, at the same time, to the same stop didn't create the connection I had with a few people several years ago. We needed to be "built together" over time and through the conversations we had.
We need to connect with one another and work on keeping those connections. Connecting with someone else is risky. When we connect together, we begin to show our "less than" moments - thin spots in our emotional armor, vulnerabilities are exposed. Relationships can be messy. Interactions can become painful. We will find other people can prove to be rather inconvenient. Connecting with someone also means we learn about the weak spots the other person has, too. The good thing about making these links is that we become joyful when our friend has a triumph and we celebrate together. But also, we feel pain when our friends face a defeat. The connection joins us together in mourning.
I have been realizing over the last couple of weeks just how disconnected I have become. I'm not sure if it is my doing - a result of my pulling away - or if they have pulled back from me. That is an evaluation I will have to make. If they are responsible, I will give them what they wish and exit their lives. If I am responsible, I will work to fix it. Either way, though, I need to work building new connections. Others deserve the privilege of getting to know the real me!
Let's have tea together some time!
Pastor David Hertweck basically broke the topic of growth requiring community into two points but I'm going to focus on just his first one. His first point was about the things and beliefs that can have a way of breaking down someone's sense of community. In a community, people are known to each other.
Technology has created a false sense of connection together that honestly, just isn't enough for a person's emotional health. Social media is slowly replacing actual physical interaction between people. Facebook is estimated to have over a billion active users. If it were an actual country, it would be third in population - behind only India and China. People on social media only show what they want others to know about them. It becomes more and more difficult for good social interactive training. Social media doesn't encourage us to try to work things out. All a person has to do is 'unfriend' or 'unfollow' another person who is difficult to communicate with. The problem is "solved."
But physical closeness isn't connection either. A couple doing something together is not the same thing as two people participating in the same activity at the same time. Riding the same bus, at the same time, to the same stop didn't create the connection I had with a few people several years ago. We needed to be "built together" over time and through the conversations we had.
We need to connect with one another and work on keeping those connections. Connecting with someone else is risky. When we connect together, we begin to show our "less than" moments - thin spots in our emotional armor, vulnerabilities are exposed. Relationships can be messy. Interactions can become painful. We will find other people can prove to be rather inconvenient. Connecting with someone also means we learn about the weak spots the other person has, too. The good thing about making these links is that we become joyful when our friend has a triumph and we celebrate together. But also, we feel pain when our friends face a defeat. The connection joins us together in mourning.
I have been realizing over the last couple of weeks just how disconnected I have become. I'm not sure if it is my doing - a result of my pulling away - or if they have pulled back from me. That is an evaluation I will have to make. If they are responsible, I will give them what they wish and exit their lives. If I am responsible, I will work to fix it. Either way, though, I need to work building new connections. Others deserve the privilege of getting to know the real me!
Let's have tea together some time!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Exhortation? Really?
I am sorry that I haven't written since Sunday. I have been working -- contemplating about things and mulling them over -- and thinking about you. What should I write to you? What do I feel I NEED to tell you? Then I realized: just do what you said you were going to do.
So with that, I went and rated my responses to the questions in the survey we received. In all transparency, I did go online to our church website and completed it there - where it did all the organizing and math for me. I was surprised by my results. Like I said before, it focused in 16 different gift areas. I had a slight, opinion, about what my number one was going to be. And boy, was I wrong! My "opinion" came in at a five-way tie for THIRD! What I always thought was my greatest gift, teaching, was tied with other things for third. That meant I was really better at (or could be overcoming fear) two other things. Right now I'm focusing on what was my top fit -- exhortation.
Really? Exhortation, God? You do know that means TALKING to other people, right? But I was reminded that others hadn't been all that comfortable speaking before others, too. Also, "talking" to others didn't have to mean actually speaking. What?
Alright, so what DOES exhortation mean? According to Dictionary.com, it is a noun - yeah, knew that. Meaning 1 is the act or process of exhorting - yeah, no help. So, meaning 2 is an utterance, discourse, or address conveying urgent advice or recommendations - yeah, better but still. Further down the page, though, was the British dictionary's definition. Its second definition is a speech or written passage intended to persuade, inspire, or encourage. BINGO! Now that one makes sense! A written passage intended to persuade, inspire, or encourage I can do! And I noted the continuation of the theme: writing.
For about two years now, I have been using a personal vision statement; a life purpose. "My life purpose is empowerment - of myself and others." In light of that, really, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that my top gift was suggested to be exhortation. I had kind of known it already but didn't put a name to it. "How" is still a little shifting but I know it has to do with writing and this blog.
There were some suggested Bible references about the gift of exhortation. I liked the one Paul wrote in the letter to the Hebrews. It says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deed, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV) It's in a section where Paul is writing a comparison about the body of a human and the body of The Church. Like each part of the human body has a different purpose (liver, lung, hand, foot), the people who follow Jesus each have a different purpose, too. Some work together rather closely but each are still individual. The verses talk about lifting each other up to their own purpose through Jesus. I feel encouraged to press forward and step up. I am made to use my "voice" - in whatever form it takes - to encourage others and inspire where I can.
So with that, I went and rated my responses to the questions in the survey we received. In all transparency, I did go online to our church website and completed it there - where it did all the organizing and math for me. I was surprised by my results. Like I said before, it focused in 16 different gift areas. I had a slight, opinion, about what my number one was going to be. And boy, was I wrong! My "opinion" came in at a five-way tie for THIRD! What I always thought was my greatest gift, teaching, was tied with other things for third. That meant I was really better at (or could be overcoming fear) two other things. Right now I'm focusing on what was my top fit -- exhortation.
Really? Exhortation, God? You do know that means TALKING to other people, right? But I was reminded that others hadn't been all that comfortable speaking before others, too. Also, "talking" to others didn't have to mean actually speaking. What?
Alright, so what DOES exhortation mean? According to Dictionary.com, it is a noun - yeah, knew that. Meaning 1 is the act or process of exhorting - yeah, no help. So, meaning 2 is an utterance, discourse, or address conveying urgent advice or recommendations - yeah, better but still. Further down the page, though, was the British dictionary's definition. Its second definition is a speech or written passage intended to persuade, inspire, or encourage. BINGO! Now that one makes sense! A written passage intended to persuade, inspire, or encourage I can do! And I noted the continuation of the theme: writing.
For about two years now, I have been using a personal vision statement; a life purpose. "My life purpose is empowerment - of myself and others." In light of that, really, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that my top gift was suggested to be exhortation. I had kind of known it already but didn't put a name to it. "How" is still a little shifting but I know it has to do with writing and this blog.
There were some suggested Bible references about the gift of exhortation. I liked the one Paul wrote in the letter to the Hebrews. It says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deed, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV) It's in a section where Paul is writing a comparison about the body of a human and the body of The Church. Like each part of the human body has a different purpose (liver, lung, hand, foot), the people who follow Jesus each have a different purpose, too. Some work together rather closely but each are still individual. The verses talk about lifting each other up to their own purpose through Jesus. I feel encouraged to press forward and step up. I am made to use my "voice" - in whatever form it takes - to encourage others and inspire where I can.
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Today's Service Inspiration
Good afternoon. I'm back again with a few thoughts about the message our pastor gave this morning. Pastor Bob (well, that's what he goes by. His 'official' name is Robert.) started a series about unlocking our potential. Today's message was called "Finding Your Fit" and talked about spiritual gifts.
For a little background, spiritual gifts are God-given abilities. There are about 16 categories they'll fall into, but I'm not getting into what they all are right now. I'll have other blogs about my introspection into my ability or not to use each one.
I think that, following the path of my last post, I'm going to write today about a Bible verse from the selection he quoted. 1 Peter 4:10 in the New International Version (NIV) states: "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." This was written in a section of a letter to Christian groups in what now is Central Turkey. Peter was writing to encourage them in the way they were living for God.
This verse grabbed my attention because, like I said, it seems to be a Biblically-based confirmation of what has been seeping into my awareness this last week. It feels like I'm getting a little nudge in this. You know what I mean? You saw the type in those "Rocky"-types of movies -- the fighter is standing back into the corner of the ring. He's not sure if he wants to go out there for another round. But there's his trainer, and he's SURE the fighter can take out the other guy. The trainer's up behind the fighter, rubbing his shoulders, and giving the fighter a little pep talk. The trainer, of course, ends with a "now, go get 'em!" And the hands that were just massaging and supportive are now down on the fighter's shoulder blades and lovingly, but firmly shoving the fighter back into the center of the ring to fight. That's how it felt this morning as I was listening to Pastor Bob read it out loud.
I now realize how much I have been neglecting my gifts. My abilities have been gathering dust. I know a few of them and I've been given the perfect opportunity to discover more. It feels like this week has been "the pep talk" and today's verse is Jesus saying "now, go get 'em!" The difference between the fighter and me -- my Trainer is out here in the ring with me and together we'll get through anything.
Pastor Bob's message today gave me a lot of encouragement and some practical and applicable information about looking for, developing, and properly using my gifts. I have gotten some things to mull over. Ultimately though, I love getting presents from people and I appreciate them. How much more then that I love, appreciate, and share the gifts I have received from God!
For a little background, spiritual gifts are God-given abilities. There are about 16 categories they'll fall into, but I'm not getting into what they all are right now. I'll have other blogs about my introspection into my ability or not to use each one.
I think that, following the path of my last post, I'm going to write today about a Bible verse from the selection he quoted. 1 Peter 4:10 in the New International Version (NIV) states: "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." This was written in a section of a letter to Christian groups in what now is Central Turkey. Peter was writing to encourage them in the way they were living for God.
This verse grabbed my attention because, like I said, it seems to be a Biblically-based confirmation of what has been seeping into my awareness this last week. It feels like I'm getting a little nudge in this. You know what I mean? You saw the type in those "Rocky"-types of movies -- the fighter is standing back into the corner of the ring. He's not sure if he wants to go out there for another round. But there's his trainer, and he's SURE the fighter can take out the other guy. The trainer's up behind the fighter, rubbing his shoulders, and giving the fighter a little pep talk. The trainer, of course, ends with a "now, go get 'em!" And the hands that were just massaging and supportive are now down on the fighter's shoulder blades and lovingly, but firmly shoving the fighter back into the center of the ring to fight. That's how it felt this morning as I was listening to Pastor Bob read it out loud.
I now realize how much I have been neglecting my gifts. My abilities have been gathering dust. I know a few of them and I've been given the perfect opportunity to discover more. It feels like this week has been "the pep talk" and today's verse is Jesus saying "now, go get 'em!" The difference between the fighter and me -- my Trainer is out here in the ring with me and together we'll get through anything.
Pastor Bob's message today gave me a lot of encouragement and some practical and applicable information about looking for, developing, and properly using my gifts. I have gotten some things to mull over. Ultimately though, I love getting presents from people and I appreciate them. How much more then that I love, appreciate, and share the gifts I have received from God!
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Here's to New Beginnings
Hello, again. I am going to try this blogging thing again. I am leaving any expectations of having readers behind. I am not doing this for anyone else. I have been reminded two days ago what it is to be an artist. This reminder appeared on my Facebook newsfeed. This is what I saw and what I said regarding it.
I am sitting here to put action behind my words. During a small group discussion at a recent Bible Study, I was reminded that I AM a writer. I have a way with putting words together that is descriptive and can be quite elegant. Writing IS my outlet. I haven't quite worked out how this is going to blend with my journal quite yet, but I will figure it out. After all, I am creative!
It is Saturday. That means Doctor Who and The Last Kingdom on BBC America. I will post this and I will be back soon.
Karen
"Yes, it is a way of life and also very rarely a way to make a living. Even some of the most famous creators' (painters/writers/poets) work did not earn/cost a lot of money until after the creator passed.
A person HAS to want to do it for the creative outlet that it is - not for large amounts of fame or money because it is most likely not to come - and for the creation's ability to touch another soul."
I am sitting here to put action behind my words. During a small group discussion at a recent Bible Study, I was reminded that I AM a writer. I have a way with putting words together that is descriptive and can be quite elegant. Writing IS my outlet. I haven't quite worked out how this is going to blend with my journal quite yet, but I will figure it out. After all, I am creative!
It is Saturday. That means Doctor Who and The Last Kingdom on BBC America. I will post this and I will be back soon.
Karen
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Personal Perceptions
Proverbs 21:2 (NKJV) => Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, But the Lord weighs the heart.
This verse intends to remind me that if I use the human system of right and wrong, I will pretty much always be on the right side. I can always find someone who is worse than me -- "well, at least I'm not like Soandso!". Or I can always rationalize it away -- "I HAD TO lie. It would have been rude to tell her how that REALLY looked on her!". People usually see someone else's bad behavior (otherwise known as sin) as being "more bad" than their own. It is a sliding-scale so to say. God is consistent about what is wrong and what is right. The same things that were sinful 3000 years ago is still sinful now and will still be sinful 3000 years from now. He looks into our hearts to see our motivations and attitude. Something that appears to be right, like helping another person out, could be wrong when done for selfish, self-serving reasons, like for the publicity. I need to do a quick heart check before I do something. Is the reason I want to do this because it will help someone with a need or is it so I can get something out of it? I do not think it is completely bad to get something out of helping someone else ... I think it's even talked about somewhere in the Bible that there are win/win scenarios. I know that I feel better emotionally when I help someone else out with something.
Heavenly Father, thank You for being the consistent measure of what is right and wrong. Show me where I am not seeing that in my life. Show me ways that I can reach out and help others in a way that creates a win/win situation. Strengthen me to do what You have put onto my heart to accomplish. Amen.
This verse intends to remind me that if I use the human system of right and wrong, I will pretty much always be on the right side. I can always find someone who is worse than me -- "well, at least I'm not like Soandso!". Or I can always rationalize it away -- "I HAD TO lie. It would have been rude to tell her how that REALLY looked on her!". People usually see someone else's bad behavior (otherwise known as sin) as being "more bad" than their own. It is a sliding-scale so to say. God is consistent about what is wrong and what is right. The same things that were sinful 3000 years ago is still sinful now and will still be sinful 3000 years from now. He looks into our hearts to see our motivations and attitude. Something that appears to be right, like helping another person out, could be wrong when done for selfish, self-serving reasons, like for the publicity. I need to do a quick heart check before I do something. Is the reason I want to do this because it will help someone with a need or is it so I can get something out of it? I do not think it is completely bad to get something out of helping someone else ... I think it's even talked about somewhere in the Bible that there are win/win scenarios. I know that I feel better emotionally when I help someone else out with something.
Heavenly Father, thank You for being the consistent measure of what is right and wrong. Show me where I am not seeing that in my life. Show me ways that I can reach out and help others in a way that creates a win/win situation. Strengthen me to do what You have put onto my heart to accomplish. Amen.
Resurecting the Past ... Stepping Into Future
Hello again. I can not believe it has been a year and a half since I made a blog post. I'm sure most of my readers have forgotten about me, if I had any to begin with. This really isn't about anyone else, though, is it? The trend I had set out for with this blog was a lot more personal. I am going back to that premise. I am going to use this to record my personal Bible study (sometimes journal entry insights) and hopefully others will read it, be encouraged, and be led to comment so myself and others can also be encouraged.
This specific post is more about a reintroduction. I am not in the midst of a specific book of the Bible. I am using a list generated by the Logos Bible software. The list I chose was a list focusing on hope. I have been feeling without much hope lately. I am trying to focus on reading my Bible more consistently. I have been given all the advice I can tolerate about it. I know I need to do it every day. I know I should do it first thing in the morning before distractions and busyness can get into the way. But if I hear that stupid Nike slogan applied to my struggle to follow through and accomplish something, I think I just may SCREAM! Telling someone who battles with depression to "Just Do It" shows your lack of knowledge about depression, it shows your lack of attention to the personality of your so-called friend. I am realizing that I have just such an acquaintance in my prayer circle. I call her "acquaintance" rather than "friend" because of her insistence that if she can do it -- with 'it' being anything from praying and Bible reading daily to making it to work out at the gym regularly -- I certainly should be able to, also, since I am so much younger than she is. But I am digressing.
I want this to be about encouraging myself and others who struggle with Major Clinical Depression, suicidal tendencies, or Bi Polar I and the roller coaster ride that is life with these disorders. I will be using Christian / Bible references because that is where I have found the greatest support. Beyond the obvious support of fellow believers, I find that knowing there is encouragement and support written in the Bible show me that this is not something new, I am not alone, and Jesus is there with me no matter how far down I drop.
If you would like to, read my initial post introducing the blog to see the layout I use for writing out my Bible study entries. You can find it quickly by clicking the label "Introduction" below. The post is titled "31 Days in Proverbs."
This specific post is more about a reintroduction. I am not in the midst of a specific book of the Bible. I am using a list generated by the Logos Bible software. The list I chose was a list focusing on hope. I have been feeling without much hope lately. I am trying to focus on reading my Bible more consistently. I have been given all the advice I can tolerate about it. I know I need to do it every day. I know I should do it first thing in the morning before distractions and busyness can get into the way. But if I hear that stupid Nike slogan applied to my struggle to follow through and accomplish something, I think I just may SCREAM! Telling someone who battles with depression to "Just Do It" shows your lack of knowledge about depression, it shows your lack of attention to the personality of your so-called friend. I am realizing that I have just such an acquaintance in my prayer circle. I call her "acquaintance" rather than "friend" because of her insistence that if she can do it -- with 'it' being anything from praying and Bible reading daily to making it to work out at the gym regularly -- I certainly should be able to, also, since I am so much younger than she is. But I am digressing.
I want this to be about encouraging myself and others who struggle with Major Clinical Depression, suicidal tendencies, or Bi Polar I and the roller coaster ride that is life with these disorders. I will be using Christian / Bible references because that is where I have found the greatest support. Beyond the obvious support of fellow believers, I find that knowing there is encouragement and support written in the Bible show me that this is not something new, I am not alone, and Jesus is there with me no matter how far down I drop.
If you would like to, read my initial post introducing the blog to see the layout I use for writing out my Bible study entries. You can find it quickly by clicking the label "Introduction" below. The post is titled "31 Days in Proverbs."
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sunday Randomness 7-21-13
I am really struggling this last few days with getting my Bible reading done. Today I have been struggling period.
I have been busy with a new job -- I'm doing a temp job for an Etsy company. Etsy is a home for a lot of very small businesses. A lot of home crafters have them. I am working for one. Her site is www.casephile.etsy.com and I'd love it if you checked her out and gave her some business. She makes all sorts of cases and cozies around all sorts of things. Right now I am helping her with earbud cozies. Yes, I am wrapping earbud headphones in knitting. Its worked in as I knit. I get piecework on it so I'm setting aside projects to work on this -- not that I had much I could work on.
I am struggling today because I can not get motivated to be doing anything. I have the posts started for my "31 Days in Proverbs" series, but I am just not getting any insights into the verses. I have had problem all day getting motivated and staying on task.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
For the Love of a Brother
Proverbs 17:17 (NKJV) => A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.
This verse isn't referring to just my blood relative brother, which I am grateful for. Maybe others feel this way about their family members but I just never was close to my family and hard times seem to drive them farther away. There is hope though. I have friends that have become like a second family to me. They are my life proof of this verse. They cared for me through my deepest depression and have become closer through the car accident we had in February. Others have stepped up through this, too, and have become like sisters.
Heavenly Father, thank You for the friends I have that are like family to me. I appreciate them greatly. As I complete this transition from my day program to college, help me to seek support from them in a way that is not over draining for them. Help me to see where else I can form these close relationships. Help me, Jesus, to have this kind of relationship with You. You died for me because you love me. Help me to spend time in appreciation with you. Amen.
This verse isn't referring to just my blood relative brother, which I am grateful for. Maybe others feel this way about their family members but I just never was close to my family and hard times seem to drive them farther away. There is hope though. I have friends that have become like a second family to me. They are my life proof of this verse. They cared for me through my deepest depression and have become closer through the car accident we had in February. Others have stepped up through this, too, and have become like sisters.
Heavenly Father, thank You for the friends I have that are like family to me. I appreciate them greatly. As I complete this transition from my day program to college, help me to seek support from them in a way that is not over draining for them. Help me to see where else I can form these close relationships. Help me, Jesus, to have this kind of relationship with You. You died for me because you love me. Help me to spend time in appreciation with you. Amen.
Sweet as Honey
Proverbs 16:24 (NKJV) => Pleasant words are like honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.
This verse is convicting me about how I speak to, or don't speak to, others and myself. I know the power of uplifting, positive comments. I need to be more generous with them. I need to be speaking the uplifting words that I want to hear. I need to stop my negative self-talk. I need to remember to be more kind. I should be sharing positive comments of appreciation more.
Holy Spirit help me to be a kinder, more appreciative person. Help me to get over my anxieties and tell others what I appreciate about them. Foremost though, I need Your help to start being more appreciative and positive with myself. For as little as I compliment others, I compliment myself even less. Jesus, help me to see myself and others with Your eyes. Amen.
This verse is convicting me about how I speak to, or don't speak to, others and myself. I know the power of uplifting, positive comments. I need to be more generous with them. I need to be speaking the uplifting words that I want to hear. I need to stop my negative self-talk. I need to remember to be more kind. I should be sharing positive comments of appreciation more.
Holy Spirit help me to be a kinder, more appreciative person. Help me to get over my anxieties and tell others what I appreciate about them. Foremost though, I need Your help to start being more appreciative and positive with myself. For as little as I compliment others, I compliment myself even less. Jesus, help me to see myself and others with Your eyes. Amen.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
A Matter of Heart
Proverbs 15:13 (NKJV) => A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.
This verse is talking about being happy or sad is a matter of my heart condition. At first I was having trouble with this verse. I have to battle with depression. I want to be happy, somedays I just can not. After some meditation and conversation with Jesus, I realize this isn't about my depression -- that is another discussion on spiritual warfare -- but about the overall matter of my heart. When I am in a good place, I am outwardly happy and cheerful. When I let the little things begin to bother me, that spirit of joy is broken. I am in a sorrow-filled place and have to fight even more.
Heavenly Father, thank You for the time I spent with You today. Thank You for the clarification of how this verse can be applied to my life, Holy Spirit. Help me to always see how the condition of my emotions has such a profound effect on my outward appearance. Thank You for the reminder that my emotional shape is never really out of view. Amen.
This verse is talking about being happy or sad is a matter of my heart condition. At first I was having trouble with this verse. I have to battle with depression. I want to be happy, somedays I just can not. After some meditation and conversation with Jesus, I realize this isn't about my depression -- that is another discussion on spiritual warfare -- but about the overall matter of my heart. When I am in a good place, I am outwardly happy and cheerful. When I let the little things begin to bother me, that spirit of joy is broken. I am in a sorrow-filled place and have to fight even more.
Heavenly Father, thank You for the time I spent with You today. Thank You for the clarification of how this verse can be applied to my life, Holy Spirit. Help me to always see how the condition of my emotions has such a profound effect on my outward appearance. Thank You for the reminder that my emotional shape is never really out of view. Amen.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Being a Wise Builder
Proverbs 14:1 (NKJV) => The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
This verse is about the ability I have to choose whether I will be lifting up or tearing down others. I need to be sure I remember that, especially with my family. I need to be a source of encouragement and love to my husband and my children.
Holy Spirit, help me to always be a wise woman and lift up my family and friends.
This verse is about the ability I have to choose whether I will be lifting up or tearing down others. I need to be sure I remember that, especially with my family. I need to be a source of encouragement and love to my husband and my children.
Holy Spirit, help me to always be a wise woman and lift up my family and friends.
Where the Rubber Meets the Road
Proverbs 13:4 (NKJV) => the soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.
This verse is speaking to me the difference between Dreamers and Achievers. THere is nothing wrong with dreaming. A key to anything humans have accomplished is the fact that, at some point, someone asked and dreamed a possibility. My point tonight is there has to be a time where 'the rubber meets the road' and actions turn dreams into realities. I dream of a better and closer relationship with Jesus. I know (and this verse reminds me) that unless I put my actions into my desire, I will remain with nothing but dreams. If I consistently seek Jesus, I will receive God's riches.
Heavenly Father, I thank you for this reminder that my desires are nothing without actions put behind them. Holy Spirit, help me to be better with spending time with You. Help me, Jesus, to see the actions you want me to take to be consistent and spread Your wealth. Amen.
This verse is speaking to me the difference between Dreamers and Achievers. THere is nothing wrong with dreaming. A key to anything humans have accomplished is the fact that, at some point, someone asked and dreamed a possibility. My point tonight is there has to be a time where 'the rubber meets the road' and actions turn dreams into realities. I dream of a better and closer relationship with Jesus. I know (and this verse reminds me) that unless I put my actions into my desire, I will remain with nothing but dreams. If I consistently seek Jesus, I will receive God's riches.
Heavenly Father, I thank you for this reminder that my desires are nothing without actions put behind them. Holy Spirit, help me to be better with spending time with You. Help me, Jesus, to see the actions you want me to take to be consistent and spread Your wealth. Amen.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Depression and the Word
Proverbs 12:25 (NKJV) => Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.
I don't know how much more straightforward this can be, I know from experience with anxiety attacks and depression. I have had crippling attacks of fear so great I had to fight to breathe. By surrounding myself with positive people who lift me up, I have turned the depression around and have made the attacks not as severe or as frequent. In the therapies I have been receiving, there have been decades of scientific research coming to the same conclusion that Solomon had centuries ago. This verse tonight is speaking to me as a praise to God that the burden of anxiety and depression can be lifted. It all comes down to whom I choose to surround myself with.
Heavenly Father, tonight I thank You and praise You that the burden of Anxiety and Depression are not the strangling chains that my friends and I once experienced them to be. I thank You, Lord, for the friends and supporters that I have found to walk with me through the difficult times of my days. Holy Spirit, help me to always remember, above all and anyone else, You are my greatest and most powerful support of all. Amen.
I don't know how much more straightforward this can be, I know from experience with anxiety attacks and depression. I have had crippling attacks of fear so great I had to fight to breathe. By surrounding myself with positive people who lift me up, I have turned the depression around and have made the attacks not as severe or as frequent. In the therapies I have been receiving, there have been decades of scientific research coming to the same conclusion that Solomon had centuries ago. This verse tonight is speaking to me as a praise to God that the burden of anxiety and depression can be lifted. It all comes down to whom I choose to surround myself with.
Heavenly Father, tonight I thank You and praise You that the burden of Anxiety and Depression are not the strangling chains that my friends and I once experienced them to be. I thank You, Lord, for the friends and supporters that I have found to walk with me through the difficult times of my days. Holy Spirit, help me to always remember, above all and anyone else, You are my greatest and most powerful support of all. Amen.
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